If it really is as awful as all that, I'll just kill myself.

[Wow Booker way to just go for the hardball. The real question is though, why not just kill yourself now?

Booker isn't one for suicidal ideation, despite what his reckless behavior might say of him. In his most desperate moments he didn't ever really consider it, even when there wasn't anything but numbness Booker didn't think to end it. Perhaps because he feels he deserves it?]

Everyone seems to get rebooted after dying here anyways, so what's it matter?